This is a story about a young woman who decided to listen to her intuition...
Growing up, I let everyone else dictate my life for me. I was a high-achieving, nervous wreck who was afraid to let other people down. In school, if I got anything less than an "A+" I changed the grade on my report card because I couldn't bear the thought of being seen as anything less than perfect. That rigid mindset stayed with me, and combined with genetic predispositions and other environmental factors like trauma, I developed eating disorders and co-occurring issues for seventeen years.
When I first started modeling, I was yet again afraid to be seen as anything other than "beautiful" in the eyes of society. So on and on I hid behind this "false mask" - not the real me - but a version of myself that I put on every day to please others. However, no one really knew what I was doing - the damage that I was doing to my body, to my mind, and to my spirit, just to "fit in" with my work and friends.
One day in 2012, my body gave out. I was so sick that I could not continue to live or work under false pretenses anymore. So I had to make a decision. Choose recovery or choose an early death. I had already lost my mother to addiction at a young 45 years old, and I could feel something pulling within, telling me to choose life.
That "pull" was my Intuitive Therapist voice. I had neglected "IT" for so long, I didn't even know what "IT" really was. My loving and encouraging "IT" had been smothered by the painful cries of my eating disorder or "ED" for years, yet there it was, telling me which direction I should go.
As I worked on my recovery, and the "IT" voice grew stronger, it led me into a life where I chose to be free from my eating disorder and addictions every single day. That intuition eventually led into every other area of my life, like who I hung out with, my career choice, my passions, and my purpose. Eventually, I was able to return to modeling, stronger and happier than ever before. But I had to choose recovery, and learn how to trust my true self.
It all started with listening to that small voice within.