Are you aware of a critical thought you’ve had recently – maybe one you’re having right now? Eating disorders love to criticize, making us feel shame and guilt for our food choices, our body size, and more.
The good news is that our “inner critic,” a.k.a. our Eating Disorder (ED) voice, doesn’t have to run the show. You see, we also have an Intuitive Therapist (IT) voice, which speaks to us from a place of empathy and self-love.
Your ED voice might be so loud at times that you forget you have this compassionate IT voice. However, as you progress in your recovery, you’ll find that you can turn down the volume of your ED voice – and crank up the sound of your IT voice!
Until you get to this place in your recovery, an EDIT-certified recovery coach can model your IT voice, helping you challenge your ED voice. Here’s how the EDIT™ method can support you as you learn to silence your inner critic.
What Does Our “Inner Critic” Sound Like?
Instinctively, we all know what our “inner critic” sounds like. It’s the tinder behind some of our harshest, most shame-fueled, and downright meanest thoughts about ourselves, such as…
● “I’m fat.”[1]
● “I don’t deserve to eat.”
● “No one will love me if I look like this.”
● “I need to count calories, body-check, etc. so I can stay in control.”
● “I can’t stop my eating disorder thoughts or behaviors.”
If you’ve been living with a noisy inner critic for some time now, you might forget that there’s a difference between this cruel ED voice and your true self – a.k.a. your IT voice. Your IT voice is the source of loving, compassionate thoughts about yourself, such as:
● “I am worthy.”
● “I am a beautiful person inside and out.”
● “My body deserves nourishment, even when I don’t feel good about the way I look.”
● “What I eat or what I weigh does not define me.”
● “My ED is not in control; I am.”
No matter how loud your ED voice gets, we all have the innate power to access this IT voice. It just takes practice – and rediscovering your inner self through recovery!
How the EDIT™ Method Can Help
When our ED voice gets loud, we may not know how to distinguish our critical thoughts from our compassionate ones. Our true selves can get so jumbled up in the melee that we can no longer separate our ED voice from our IT voice.
Luckily, your EDIT-certified recovery coach is there to help remind you of the difference! A recovery coach can “roleplay” as your IT voice, until these self-compassionate thoughts become second-nature.
In a dialogue with me, or another EDIT-certified recovery coach, you might voice some of your most self-critical, ED-fueled thoughts. Your recovery coach will show you how you can reframe these thoughts to embody the voice of your “intuitive therapist.”
Here are two examples of what that might look like in practice:
Example #1
ED says: “I just ate a big meal last night. I feel so heavy and bloated. It’s better if I skip eating today to make up for it.”
IT says: “Yes, I did eat last night – because that’s what I’m supposed to do. Food is nourishment for my body, and although I may have eaten more than what felt comfortable, I still deserve to eat all of my meals today.”
Example #2
ED says: “I have gotten so fat in recovery. Look at how big I am compared to where I used to be! I need to body-check and restrict my eating to make sure I stay in control of my size.”
IT says: “My body is constantly changing; I don’t need to compare it to a version of myself that was sick and malnourished. I may not feel good about myself right now, but I am learning to love my body for where it is.”
Ready to Silence Your Inner Critic?
Getting back to your “intuitive therapist” voice begins with the decision to choose self-compassion over self-criticism. If you are tired of your inner critic running your life, and ready to take back the power your ED has stolen from you, reach out to me today at nikki@liveedfree.com to learn more about how the EDIT™ method can help!
[1] Note: Being “fat” is not inherently a bad thing, and is not always a self-critical thought when the word “fat” is reclaimed from a place of self-love and recovery. However, your ED voice might use the phrase “I feel fat” as a substitute for all the things society has taught usto associate with fatness, such as being “bad,” “ugly,” or “unlovable.” To learn more about this distinction, check out this article from the organization iWeigh.